In my work with couples, I often find they act as if their relationship skills are on autopilot - words and actions seem to occur without conscious intent. Are they really thinking about what they wanted to convey and how others might hear it and what the desired outcome might be?  I encourage couples to stay present (making statements or requests with conscious intent), and to be clear and compassionate in their personal communications.

I find many people put more energy into their spiritual practices and careers than their love lives. But can they be fully connected to Source while their relationship suffers as a result? Can they put vast amounts of energy and intention into work and spirituality and expect a love relationship to grow by itself? Of course not.

A powerful way to create harmony, love, and joy is to make a commitment to approach the relationship as a spiritual teacher. Authors Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks ask readers to commit to this statement: “I accept relationship itself as my primary teacher about myself, other people, and the mysteries of the universe. I open myself to letting every relationship interaction, no matter how seemingly trivial, deepen my connection with my essence and the essence of others. I invite all healing powers in myself and the universe to remove any obstacles to my relationships as a source of joyful fulfillment to me in all my depths.”

As we commit to conscious loving, we clean up our emotional lives, remove baggage, and become powerfully loving. When you use tools such as accepting another just as s/he is, reflective listening, making kind requests, taking full responsibility for meeting your own needs and goals, telling the truth, sharing your deepest feelings, you validate others while staying in the fullness of your own power.